Terry Pratchett The Unadulterated Cat The Unadulterated Cat is becoming an endangered species as more and more of us settle for those boring mass-produced cats the ad-men sell us - the pussies that purr into their gold-plated food bowls on the telly. For example, all cats with faces that look as though they had been put in a vice and hit repeatedly by a hammer with a sock round it are Real cats.But the Campaign for Real Cats sets out to change all that by helping us to recognise a true, unadulterated cat when we see one. And anything else left on the table, if they think they can get away with it. Despite the fact that this book clearly states that cats should have short names you don't mind yelling to the neighbourhood at midnight, The Unadulterated Cat is dedicated to: Oedipuss They don't come much realer. Cats with ears that look as though they have been trimmed with pinking shears are Real cats.For example: real cats have ears that look like they've been trimmed with pinking shears; real cats never wear flea collars... or chase anything with a bell in it; real cats do eat quiche. Real cats can hear a fridge door opening two rooms away... A Campaign for Real Cats Far too many people these days have grown used to boring, mass-produced cats, which may bounce with health and nourishing vitamins but aren't a patch on the good old cats you used to get. Almost every non-pedigree unneutered tom is not only Real, but as it hangs around the house it gets Realer and Realer until one of you is left in absolutely no doubt as to its Realness. Actually being in adverts doesn't make a cat un Real-it can't help it if someone plonks it down in some weird pyramid made of carpet and takes pictures of it peeping anxiously out of the hole-but its demeanour once there counts for a lot.
A Real cat, on the other hand, will head for the most expensive regardless, pull it out onto the studio floor, eat it with great pleasure, try some of the others, trip up the cameraman and then get stuck behind the newsreaders' podium. And then, when its owners buy several large tins of the wretched stuff, it'll refuse to touch it again.
Real cats never wear bows (but sometimes they do wear bow-ties; see "Cartoon Cats").
: Money makes the world go round for Jett Gavallon, a high-tech entrepreneur who's on the brink of bringing a Russian telecom startup to market with an IPO worth billions.
But when his best friend and second-in-command disappears after Gavallon sends him to Moscow to make sure the new company is on the up and up, Jett begins to have second thoughts, which are exactly what his Russian partners can't afford.
This generally happens in dense traffic or crowded waiting rooms.
Despite the bad feeling caused by the Great Bowl With Your Name On It Fracas mentioned above, we should make it clear that Real cats Ah. Logically, simply knowing your great-granddad's name should not be a bar to enjoying the full rich life, but some of the Campaign's more committed members believe that a true Real cat should be in some doubt as to its own existence, let alone that of its parents.
But the Campaign for Real Cats sets out to change all that by helping us to recognise a true, unadulterated cat when we see one.
And anything else left on the table, if they think they can get away with it.
Beset by an FBI task force looking into Mercury Broadband's financing by Russian mobsters, rumors of fraud being circulated by a Drudge-like online financial gossip columnist, and the discovery that his former lover is not who he thought she was, Jett puts his fortune on the line in a desperate attempt to save his company--and ultimately, his life.