It's an approach that could have spared Blomquist and likely thousands of others like her who feel they wasted time and money trying to find love and companionship online.Researchers of the online dating phenomenon have found a disciplined consumer strategy, rather than casual browsing, can result in success and satisfaction.Paul Oyer, a labor economist and experienced online dater, believes the key to feeling better may be feeling less.
This approach can morph people into the commodities of others' consumption. Individuals can be intensely "in love" one minute, and not at all later, simply based on appearance. This approach goes against almost everything our body, mind and the Net convinces us is real.
Often, people are in love with "being in love" not with you at all. It's good advice to ask for many photographs, so if physical attractiveness is important to you, a balanced look at someone over time and in many contexts is achieved. Don't project an illusion of a person from one image. The most pain, hurt, brokenness and distress caused online by people attempting to find the divine within each other, is a misunderstanding about the voracity of emotional online connection, and an abandonment of what true love really is.
Robin Williams says to Matt Damon in the movie "Good Will Hunting" (Miramax, 1997), "it's not about whether you are perfect for her, or she is perfect for you..you perfect for each other? A better way is to find perfect love within, and give that unconditionally to another imperfect human being (to whom you are, or are not, at times, "attracted").
..of us are perfect." Online daters often bypass wonderful prospects of enduring love in exchange for the endless anticipation of finding a "right" person who will be perfect. Consider using the Internet as a doorway to real life and real engagement with actual human beings, sovereign and independent of your wants and needs.
Only 24 years old, she has already tried (and subsequently broken up with) JDate, Match.com, Ok Cupid and Christian Mingle.
Looking back on conversations with potential suitors and a few awkward first dates, Blomquist is uncertain about what went wrong.
She said she was frustrated by missed connections and the men who weren't all that their profile claimed they would be."I really value transparency," Blomquist said.
"I feel like the yes/no/maybe options (dating sites) give you for your profile aren't really fair."Now, she is trying to enjoy the time she has to be single to get to know herself and what she wants out of life.
Many people today are turning to the internet as a tool for finding a partner.