Try to refrain from teasing Doberman Pinschers and always make sure to check the pulse of demented serial killers after they have supposedly slit their own throat with a razor.
I don't know 'bout you, but I think these two pieces of advice will probably help four, maybe five people in the audience.
Unfortunately, judging by the number of dark-haired Italian women who are stabbed, slashed and sliced to death in this movie, you could view it as a sort of guide pertaining to what not to do when confronted with a faceless killer wearing black gloves. And, as we all know, axes are perfect for chopping off hands. You see, when the axe cuts through human flesh, torrents of blood spew through the air. Besides, just as many men are murdered in this film than women are.
I was going to suggest that maybe the dark-haired Italian women should arm themselves–you know, with a weapon of some kind. They're also perfect for redecorating a bland-looking white wall. And if the person whose been hacked with an axe is standing next to a wall–preferably a white wall–it will instantly turn red. I like to watch attractive Italian women with dark hair murdered on film. I know, that doesn't exactly make things any less awkward.
But then it dawned on me, in the film's most famous death scene involving a dark-haired Italian woman, the dark-haired Italian woman in question is holding–what I presume–is a loaded hand gun. Getting back to my original point, if you're a dark-haired Italian woman and you were hoping to get some helpful pointers on how to survive an elaborately staged murder scene in a ) as first and second assistant directors (the latter appears as an actor as well), you're only chance for survival is to stand near a pointy avant garde sculpture and hope it falls in a manner that ends up putting the assailant permanently out of commission. But still, it's comforting to know that men are murdered as well.
The poster-girl for serial killer preparedness, the dark-haired Italian woman holding the loaded hand gun–get this–ends up losing the very hand she is holding the loaded hand gun with. Why are you trying to give dark-haired Italian women tips on how to survive a Dario Argento film? In fact, the only reason you're watching this film is to see attractive, dark-haired Italian women murdered. Okay, try to imagine without its four signature murder sequences. Of course, the scenes involving men are nowhere near as stylish or exhilarating as the one's that feature dark-haired Italian women buying it.
I don't think I have to tell you what happens next.. Playing Anne, Peter Neal's secretary, Daria Nicolodi, you'll notice, has red hair, yet she's dressed in all white. I mean, it doesn't say anything here about redheaded Italian women dressed all in white. I don't know what to think now.), are waiting for them.
Informing the writer about the gruesome manner in which Elsa Manni was murdered (like I said, pages from his latest bestseller were stuffed into her mouth), the police also show him a menacing note from the killer that was sent to his hotel room.) appears during these strange flashback sequences that take place on a beach; hence the reason she's credited as "Girl on Beach." Dressed in a white dressed and wearing red pumps, Eva Robin's is surrounded by a bunch of faceless boys.
One of them slaps her hard in the face, causing the other boys to tackle him. When you absolutely...) I don't know what this has to do with anything.
As they pin him to the sand, Eva Robin's strolls over and proceeds to shove the heel of one of her red pumps into the mouth of the boy who slapped her. But I'm guessing it's a painful memory pulled directly from the mind of the killer. It doesn't really get a chance to display its utter awesomeness until Mirella D'Angelo and Mirella Banti are confronted by the killer in their swanky home, where the former is attacked while putting on a t-shirt–a white t-shirt–and the latter is attacked while wearing a towel–a white towel.
I'm no forensic pathologist, but you can't cut off someone's hand with just one swipe from a razor. I don't like to see people killed, especially attractive, dark-haired Italian women. Oh, in case you're wondering, the reason I call them "dark-haired Italian women" is because that's what they are.
But the real reason has more to do with the fact that I don't know their names yet. I thought for a minute there she was about to get murdered. I thought you said only dark-haired Italian women dressed all in white are the one's who get brutally murdered in this film.
What I mean is, I'm not familiar with the actresses who play the victims, and each time I call them "dark-haired Italian women" I feel as if I'm getting closer to knowing who they really are.), a dark-haired [definitely] Italian woman dressed all in..a minute, her skirt is clearly pink. And, from where I'm sitting, Elsa is not wearing all white.