In 2005, ABC ran a special documentary series called Hooking Up on what was then the new frontier of online dating for women in their late twenties.
) and other scoundrels use online dating to “bang” as many women as possible (scandalous! Really though, we would have to go back at least a decade for this to count as real “unmasking.” The premiere attempts to juxtapose the good and the bad of heterosexual male online daters.
Based on the pilot episode, the behavior is not as eye-opening as it is eye-roll inducing.
The quintessential creeper is Alex, a 29-year-old who “dates online because it makes getting laid a lot easier.” I’d like to say right here that if Alex didn’t flirt with sexual harassment on his dates (more on that), he would have won me over for his honesty and painful insecurity that manifest as boorishness.
Alex is the bad guy, if we’re defining “bad” on a scale of what women would bring homes to their moms (which Bravo seems to presume we are).
He has the sketchiest and vaguest professional pursuits; he’s a car salesman who dabbles in his father’s bail bond business.
(The scene of him muting calls during a workday afternoon while scanning online dating photos of only women with bikini shots is really all the evidence you need.)The lines that Alex, or “Prime Time99,” spouts are stand-alone gems: “This girl is an alcoholic. I like that.” and “Someone who has that much insecurity to lie online is probably easy to sleep with.” Unsurprisingly, he’s as sexually aggressive as one would expected a man who claims “a little ass grab here or there never hurt nobody” to be.He does, in fact, regularly grab his dates’ buttocks without permission, and like a blue-balled high schooler tells one lady, “Don’t be such a prude.”He tells one lucky lady, “I have a dog’s tongue.I will rock your world.” He later speaks about his penis completely unprompted: “It’s not that long. It’ll get in there.” Then, during the post-date interview, he makes the image way worse (and contradicts himself): “I’ve got a salami that’s smooth, long, and tasty in my pants.” What possesses him to think that women will find his penis analogies appealing is unclear, but his constant reminder that he used to be overweight make suggests a host of insecurities driving his wildly inappropriate dirty talk.Then there’s Marcus, a 36-year-old divorcé in Los Angeles looking for his next wife online because he’s starting to wonder “did love forget about me?” Marcus is the good guy, presented as a reliable businessman-type; his various professional pursuits in the art world and fitness training industry are not quite clear, though, he rocks suits really, really well.Yet, while he is the stereotypical “good guy” he’s pretty self-righteous and irritating in his quest for love (which does actually resonate with real life online dating).