We're ten hours from the f--kin' fun park and you wanna bail out.
To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people! " - "Apes don't read philosophy." - "Yes they do, Otto.
P." Good Morning, Vietnam (1987)- "Don't call me stupid." - "Oh, right! But you think you're an intellectual, don't you, ape? birds singing, dew glistening on a newly formed leaf, stoplights." The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad! Last week, I discovered the early stages of crow's feet." - "Honey, time marches on and eventually you realize it's marchin' across your face." - "Stop it." Steel Magnolias (1989)"Jazz!
It's like that time we were at her parents' wedding anniversary and I told that joke: 'What's the definition of vagina? I was stuck with a case where Zuzu Petals and Art Mooney were battling out for the 'Lamest Clue of My Career' award." The Adventures of Ford Fairlane (1990) - "I couldn't believe it was her.
I'd always loved Jazz, 'cuz she despised me for who I truly am.
And a body that could melt a cheese sandwich from across the room. That doesn't mean I didn't just go with people." - "Oh my God, I feel so nauseous!
' She was the kind of woman that made you want to drop to your knees, and thank God you were a man! " - "Because I did only have sex with three different guys.
Why did you tell me you only had sex with three different guys? I understood that you had sex with three different guys and that's all you said!
You're lookin' at her like she was your mother, for Christ's sake." The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear (1991) - "Wait, but you said you only had sex with three different guys. " - "Because I never had sex with him." - "You sucked his dick! We never had sex but we fooled around." - "Oh my God! " - "All right, shut up a second and I'll tell you! I didn't freak out like this when you told me how many girls you f--ked! " - "Lower your voice." - "Wait a minute, what is that anyway? But the fifth day, you went to see your mother and that seemed just like a day, but then you came back and later on the sixth day, in the evening, when we saw each other, that started seeming like two days, so in the evening it seemed like two days spilling over into the next day and that started seeming like four days, so at the end of the sixth day on into the seventh day, it seemed like a total of five days. I have it written down, but I-I can show it to you tomorrow if you want to see it. Gentlemen, let's get to work." - "Unger, didn't you serve under Oveur in the Air Force? Technically, Dunn was under Oveur and I was under Dunn." - "Yep." - "So, Dunn, you were under Oveur and over Unger." - "Yep." - "That's right. And the third day seemed like a week again and the fourth day seemed like eight days. You'll be whistling 'Zip-A-Dee Doo-Dah' out of your assholes! The first day seemed like a week and the second day seemed like five days. We're all gonna have so much f--kin' fun we'll need plastic surgery to remove our god-damn smiles.