At the fourth stage of the online dating process, you start to contact others, decide whether they are right for you, and if not let them go.This section guides you through that exciting, but tricky, part of the journey…
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The way to get unstuck here is to develop your ability at judging whether there’s a fit between you and potential partners.
It’s also vital to be proactive in making new connections, to be kind in letting people go when they’re not suitable, and to be emotionally resilient when rejected; you’ll find resilience far easier with a supportive friend or dating buddy.
Once you’ve posted your own profile and your partner specification, you will start to get approaches from – or be able to make approaches to – potential partners.
And at this stage it gets exciting – though also time-intensive, as ideally you need to log on, make connections, and respond to approaches on a daily basis.
Initially, your task will be to search for possible partners. As we’ve said before, when viewing profiles, bear in mind that most potential partners will rarely know how to put together an accurate or interesting profile – unless they too have been coached. So make (some) allowance for profiles that are boring, repetitious, or badly-written.
Instead, read between the lines and try to interpret who the person really is.
The facts (age, height, weight, location, interests) are likely to be clear.
But look further to what the profile reveals about character and values, and start creating a mental picture of the person, the kind of relationship they are offering and who they are looking for.
Our next piece of advice may seem counter-intuitive.
Focus on the written profile rather than judging first and only on the photo.
Men in particular tend to post an old photo or a passport-booth one (which in Great Britain at any rate forbids smiling.) Because of this, the image you see may not do the person justice.