So you've joined an online dating site, and someone has caught your eye - so, what now?
The first message you send can make or break your chances of a successful first date - so it's important you get it right.
Avoid being cheesy though - aim your joke at something you both have in common - perhaps something in her profile - maybe a movie? Prove you've actually read her profile with a compliment about her taste in music, a great restaurant, or a country he's visited.
Warm compliments work well in first messages, but superficial ones can have a reverse effect, or come across as weird - so stick to something factual.
Finding some common ground can open the door for great conversation.
Look through his/her music interests, favourite foods, their job and try and spark up conversation based on what they're into.
This isn’t a cover letter for a job application; there’s really no need to be formal.
Girls on online dating sites really can get bombarded with messages, and at that point, they’re not really likely to spend more than 15 seconds quickly scanning through a message before decided to keep reading or not, . ” Later, once you guys have gone back and forth a few times, you can feel free to write longer, more involved messages.
A message that reads: “Hello, nice to “meet” you, I’m John. You might think it’s flattering, but in general women don’t like to be approached like that.
I’ve read your profile, and I think you sound nice…” …is way less engaging than this: “What!! Especially online, when women maybe a little more on-guard, opening with a comment on their physical appearance runs the risk of seeming shallow and off-putting.
But make sure it's an open one, or the conversation could end before it's begun.
Avoid suggesting a face-to-face date in your first message, instead stick to something you've seen on their profile - do you share the same music taste? Get their attention with a simple 'hey' - it's tested, and it works.
Your initial message should be straight and to the point - but make sure you follow up with something more creative, perhaps an open question, or a straight forward how are you?